You work out of a Hotel?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Randomize
