..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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