obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize