Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
