i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
