thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
