hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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