i just had sex bonerless
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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