I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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