I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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