i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
As shirtless as possible
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
