alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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