my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Green mimosas i think yes
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
