Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
