These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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