There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
