everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
