You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
