my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
No stitches, just platelets and will power
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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