She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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