North Korea, Best Korea!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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