you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize