how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
you never un-have a 4some
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You left your phone here
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