Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
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We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
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He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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