I just made out with a guy for $7.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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