Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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