So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
