Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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