you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
