have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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