so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
