i permit you to call me
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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