she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
