these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
