No awkward lesbian experiences without me
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
