By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
