this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
