Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
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I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
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He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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