You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just had sex on a roof
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
