Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
