y did u give ur computer a hand job?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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