He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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