Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
