She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize