You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
