She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
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Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
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So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You were trust falling into bushes
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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