Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
