She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I understand Curling. That high.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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