I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
But theres a keg here and me gusta
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
