you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
So squirting runs in the family.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
