This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
