I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
