take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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