another moral hangover. fuck.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
