He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
