Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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