I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
