Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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