so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
