Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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