my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
